Spots

spots are dots that were never meant to be
and I have a million spots of pain
buried deep within me
remove my skin, exposed
I bleed out your name
and everything you were
all the love
your sex
those eyes of soft surprise
fluttering they flitter like tiny butterflies
that I try to fly out of my head
STOP!
The screeching and the scratching
and all the other noises of clatter that scatters in my ears
that only I can hear
it’s laughing time again
your voice rings out like a court jester
sent to haunt my every thought
and I can’t get you out of my head
even if I was dead
staring in the face of a faceless memory
I am not even sure what you look like anymore
just a collage of memories I think I have thought before
delirious with despair
almost crazy, with a twist of lazy
shaken and on the rocks
stop, spot
I have no more soul left to bleed