{"id":293,"date":"2019-08-19T03:03:47","date_gmt":"2019-08-19T03:03:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onyx23.net\/beats\/?p=293"},"modified":"2019-08-19T03:03:47","modified_gmt":"2019-08-19T03:03:47","slug":"the-strange-steakhouse-cowboy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/2019\/08\/19\/the-strange-steakhouse-cowboy\/","title":{"rendered":"The Strange Steakhouse Cowboy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I hate steak<br \/>\nbut somehow<br \/>\nI end up at a steakhouse<br \/>\npeanut shells liter the floor<br \/>\nand that raw flesh meat smell<br \/>\nstinks up the air<br \/>\nthis place is filled<br \/>\nwith rodeo assholes<br \/>\nand radio talk show hosts<br \/>\n200 fuck nuts here<br \/>\nand he creeps up to me<br \/>\nlooking like a cross<br \/>\nbetween a clown<br \/>\nand a throwback of some<br \/>\nCalvin Clien fashion fad<br \/>\nthat just never caught on<br \/>\nmaybe it was because we were drinking the same beer<br \/>\nwho knows?<br \/>\nall I remember is his crazy voice<br \/>\n&#8220;Cowboy is gonna get him a woman tonight&#8221;<br \/>\nI laughed, swallowing down 12 ounces of beer<br \/>\nas if my laughing was some queue for him to repeat<br \/>\n&#8220;Cowboy is gonna get him a woman tonight&#8221;<br \/>\nsomehow funnier this time<br \/>\nbut with a warning of annoying<br \/>\n&#8220;Cowboy is gonna get him a woman tonight&#8221;<br \/>\nI try to pay no more attention to him<br \/>\nand he mussels his way to the next beer buffoon<br \/>\n&#8220;Cowboy is gonna get him a woman tonight&#8221;<br \/>\n9 beers and 88 times later<br \/>\nI decide to leave<br \/>\ncan&#8217;t take that fucking phrase no more<br \/>\nto drunk to drive<br \/>\nso I flag down that first cab I see<br \/>\nand by the time I get home<br \/>\nI can&#8217;t help wondering&#8230;<br \/>\ndid cowboy get his woman tonight?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hate steak but somehow I end up at a steakhouse peanut shells liter the floor and that raw flesh meat smell stinks up the air this place is filled<a href=\"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/2019\/08\/19\/the-strange-steakhouse-cowboy\/\" class=\"more-link\"><span class=\"readmore\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The Strange Steakhouse Cowboy<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-strange"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}