{"id":306,"date":"2019-09-01T11:44:53","date_gmt":"2019-09-01T11:44:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onyx23.net\/beats\/?p=306"},"modified":"2019-09-01T11:44:53","modified_gmt":"2019-09-01T11:44:53","slug":"you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/2019\/09\/01\/you\/","title":{"rendered":"You&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>you have made me sick till I can&#8217;t breathe&#8230;<br \/>\nto where every single cell of my soul<br \/>\naches in an agony of pain no one should have to feel<br \/>\nyou have killed any means of me trusting another person for the rest of my life<br \/>\nyou have taken more from me than you will ever know<br \/>\nwith all your lies<br \/>\nand the way you hide behind your fuck-me-over eyes<br \/>\nbut somehow I knew<br \/>\nand the thing that pisses me off<br \/>\nis I still fucking love you<br \/>\nand I want so bad to hate you but I can&#8217;t<br \/>\nmy hands are shaking<br \/>\nmy heart is breaking<br \/>\nand I feel I need to smash something<br \/>\nand all these thoughts of revenge<br \/>\nand the ravage and rage<br \/>\nthat I want to do to every single fucking little rat ass faggot that you fucked behind my back<br \/>\nooooh the evil my mind can create<br \/>\nbut no where near the evil your whore of a heart has brought upon me<br \/>\nand god damn, I am so angry at you<br \/>\nand I am angry at myself for not allowing my heart to believe what my brain already knew<br \/>\nI fell victim to your treachery<br \/>\nand I want to kill, it&#8217;s more than a want or a need<br \/>\nsomething more powerful than even religion<br \/>\nand I know people get what they deserve but I didn&#8217;t deserve what you did to me<br \/>\nI keep bashing myself, smashing myself, hating myself because I can&#8217;t hate you<br \/>\nand as angry as I am&#8230; the one good thought that comes to mind<br \/>\nis the fact that I love you so fucking much, that I somehow, someway<br \/>\ncan forgive you for all the evil you brought upon me today <\/p>\n<p>now tell me, do you love me more than I love you?<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t think so&#8230; you never could!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>you have made me sick till I can&#8217;t breathe&#8230; to where every single cell of my soul aches in an agony of pain no one should have to feel you<a href=\"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/2019\/09\/01\/you\/\" class=\"more-link\"><span class=\"readmore\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">You&#8230;<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-strange"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onyx23.net\/inthebeat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}