if I was a monkey, and you were a man,
would you take me to the circus
and hold my hand,
would you feed me peanuts and popcorn,
as if I were your child,
would you laugh when I hang from my tail
acting silly, crazy and wild
if I was a dog and you were a man
would you make me pull a sleigh
or take me to a beach so you could get a tan
would you treat me
like a part of the family
even after I chew on your favorite shoe
if I were a fish, and you were a man
would you take me bowling
while keeping me in a can
or would bring my bowl full of water
your dog named Walter with that dog like smell
your silly monkey with the monkey tail
and that woman in your life
that makes life a living hell
if I were a man and you a fish
I would ask for only one damn wish
to free me from the chains of tyranny
from that dictator dick taster bitch
who controls you like a puppet
but I am a fish
and I wish to stay that way
so be a man, stand up for yourself
and tell that bitch to stop treating you that way
viva la revolution MAN