so you wanna know
wanna know why
aliens haven’t
really revealed
themselves to us?
well
they are just
too fucking scared
they watch our news
and see how we kill off
one another
they listen carefully
to our shitty pop music
and they hate the hell out of boy bands
read our porn
right down to the strangest
barnyard bondage sheep pee fetish
and with their superior
intellect
Sthey know
exactly what we will do
dress them up
take them apart
anally probe them
with the bizzarest
of earth’s kinkiest sex toys
and to think
if we got hold
of one of their so-called
flying saucers
ever see a zogmurian x23 cruiser
break the light barrier
not to mention
a fly by shooting
with a guizormax fusion blaster
hell
I get chill bumps
just thinking about it
I don’t blame ’em
for not wanting to visit
this trash ball garbage dump
we call home
with all the lawyers and politicians
making all the corrupt decisions
for the honest man
damn
I wish they were still in the business
of extraterrestrial kidnapping
because I would volunteer
to be victim numero uno
I’d rather have a subspace enema
than get fucked over
again by some dumb ass human
so beam me the hell up… please!
The Emotional Delusions of a Mad Man
