you have made me sick till I can’t breathe…
to where every single cell of my soul
aches in an agony of pain no one should have to feel
you have killed any means of me trusting another person for the rest of my life
you have taken more from me than you will ever know
with all your lies
and the way you hide behind your fuck-me-over eyes
but somehow I knew
and the thing that pisses me off
is I still fucking love you
and I want so bad to hate you but I can’t
my hands are shaking
my heart is breaking
and I feel I need to smash something
and all these thoughts of revenge
and the ravage and rage
that I want to do to every single fucking little rat ass faggot that you fucked behind my back
ooooh the evil my mind can create
but no where near the evil your whore of a heart has brought upon me
and god damn, I am so angry at you
and I am angry at myself for not allowing my heart to believe what my brain already knew
I fell victim to your treachery
and I want to kill, it’s more than a want or a need
something more powerful than even religion
and I know people get what they deserve but I didn’t deserve what you did to me
I keep bashing myself, smashing myself, hating myself because I can’t hate you
and as angry as I am… the one good thought that comes to mind
is the fact that I love you so fucking much, that I somehow, someway
can forgive you for all the evil you brought upon me today
now tell me, do you love me more than I love you?
I don’t think so… you never could!!!